2 people eating one meal set

Hey everyone!
I have read in this forum that it is considered rude for 2 people to share a meal set (in a tonkatsu restaurant for example).
However, my wife and I eat VERY little and if we order 2 meal sets, most of the food would go uneaten and discarded, which is something I hate doing.
Can I ask for smaller meal sets? If so, how?
I don't mind paying the same price, or 60-70% of what a full meal set would cost. My main concern is leaving so much food uneaten.
Thank you!

I fully understand your concern, and unfortunately, I ended up wasting a bit of food at several restaurants myself when traveling solo. Some things to note:

- Not all restaurants serve big portions. I'd say cheaper restaurants tend to do quantity over quality.
- Half/small portions are not often available.
- You can order 1 set meal, plus one or two smaller "à la carte" item for both of you, so that you're roughly paying the same as two full meals.

I wonder if you can ask for uneaten food to be put into takeaway containers for you? That's pretty common here in Oz.

I usually order half rice with a set meal, since I don't eat rice much anyway and that way it isn't wasted. I did notice last time that there were offerings of tonkatsu by weight at some places, so you can choose the smallest one.

I agree you could buy one set and some a la carte items and share the lot.

One set and another a la carte item would be an idea. :)

Some restaurants do cater to people who eat somewhat smaller amount - Depending on the menu, you could ask them to reduce the rice, maybe?

At an okonomiyaki place, for example, Hiroshima style, where they put noodles, I indicated that I was not THAT hungry, and the owner suggested i could order “half noodle” :)

Thank you so much for all the help!
If the staff doesn't speak English, how can I say "half rice" or "half portion"?

In some places you can ask for small rice portion. You just say “gohan o sukuname ni onegaishimasu “. This May result in a small discount. Maybe something like 50 Yen.

Not sure where you are from but portions in Japan are not like the monster portions you get at US restaurants.

There are also options to take only small dishes at some restaurants. Generally it is meant for taking several small dishes, but there is nothing wrong with just taking 1, 2 small dishes. Obviously will depend on the restaurant.

At Tonkatsu restaurants, you may better order Hirekatsu (fillet cutlet) which is small in volume and no fatty part of the meat.

If you want small rice portion, you may just say 小ライス Show rice please.

You are traveller so you may not have chance to eat at the food court which is in the shopping mall, but you are allowed to order 1 meal and share it (It depends on the specific place so you may better observe other persons around you).

If you visit Soba or Udon shop, order simple soba or udon which is small in portion.

At many Unagi restaurants, cheaper sets tend to be small in portion.

Kaitenzushi restaurants may be a good place for you. They serve 2 pieces of sushi on a single dish. Many people eat 5-10 dishes for one meal but you can eat 5 dishes for 2.

For half rice, I say 'han gohan onegaishimasu'.

Eating at the sushi roundabout is also a great idea-some will also have soup or dumplings or edamame or other dishes so you can have a selection without ordering more than you want.

i know this is going to sound gauche but we often share food when we are travelling in Japan, or one of us gets a big meal and the other gets a few little things like a salad and sashimi. i'm not sure whether the locals have been offended but I havent noticed it and often we have had share plates brought out, or they seem to take a bit of pleasure that we are enjoying it. And yes I do realise they might be just being polite, but if that is it they are doing a fantastic job of it. We try to make sure we arent cheaping out, we just dont eat that much ourselves.

If you want to say you are small eaters, it sounds like "sho shock-oo" and being silly foreigners we say it while showing squeezy things with our hands like we are playing an accordion, which gets the message across. Then if we have left things behind we say we are full, which sounds like "epai" but that it was delicious.

My missus lives in fear that a chef is going to cry if we leave anything on the plate, and I would say that 15 years ago when we started travelling the staff would always appear concerned if we didnt eat everything, but I dont see that as much these days and actually I thought the portion sizes were getting a bit smaller when we were there earlier this year

It's not rude to share a set meal, as long as you order at least one item per person. But just like it is in any country, it depends on how the menu is designed.

Just rub your stomach to gesture that you cannot eat too much, and ask if you can "share". If the restaurant doesn't appreciate it, they can surely suggest an alternative way to order at their place.

From personal experience:

1. Some ramen establishments offer "mini" portions. These are appreciated by children and elderly people, but available for everyone.
2. Going for sushi, sashimi or (gyouza) dumplings. You can order small sets or pieces. In basically every sushi restaurant, it's completely normal to order only one or two plates at a time, and sharing is perfectly fine.
3. Buffet style dinner (sometimes referred to as "viking style"). Most buffets, unfortunately, are priced at a premium, but usually you can stay for as long as the buffet is open. Luxury hotels and long-distance ferries usually provide such option.
4. Convenience store meals. It may seem a bit sad to eat out of a convenience store, but safe to say there are a massive amount of others doing it too. And you can pick & choose small things and try out many different and weird/interesting things that way.
5. Izakaya-style restaurant. This is where each person gets an empty plate by default, and then you order miniature plates of all kinds of food. Do look out for highly-rated ones, as I've heard (not experienced) that some might do "shady" business.
6. Kaiseki ryouri. This is a type of meal you can enjoy when staying over at a traditional-style place like a ryokan, minshuku, or even an onsen resort. You'll find it's mostly quality-over-quantity, and they provide rice to bulk up the meal. It's okay to leave the rice to one side while eating the rest first.
7. Bento or ekiben. These are premade lunchboxes which are perfectly suitable as a dinner as well. Mostly eaten on trains or when out 'n about. Bento of all sizes and shapes are available, and are most prominently sold at train stations, but feel free to take them elsewhere, like to a park or whatever.
8. Street food. Many markets and other areas where street food vendors are active, and they sell smallish portions to eat right then & there. Not terribly healthy, but it's an option nonetheless.

Ask the restaurant if they can give you smaller portions or customize your order. Explain that you and your wife don't eat much and don't want to waste food. Offer to pay the same or a bit less. It's worth a try, and as long as you're polite, they might be cool with it.

Ask the restaurant if they can give you smaller portions or customize your order. Explain that you and your wife don't eat much and don't want to waste food.

Honestly I (a 69 years old Japanese) have never done this or seen someone did it, even in Japanese language. I don't say it's impossible, but the waiter/waitress might not be able to understand what you are saying (most people in Japan are not used to hear English or other foreign language). If you reserve a Kaiseki restaurant beforehand and ask it vie e-mail, this might be possible though.

I agree, customising an order in a way that the provided menu doesn't list, is quite rare in Japan.

I've heard some restaurant employees might find it annoying (they won't show it of course). This would be because the kitchen is set up to serve standardised set meals. It's one of the reasons restaurants can be so relatively cheap.

I'm a 61 year old Japanese woman and I ask for "smaller (su-ku-na-me)" portions all the time here in Japan, in Tokyo, Kanagawa, Tochigi and various other places I travel to, and I've never had a problem. Hey, hasn't anyone been to a teishoku place in recent decades?!

The original question says "in a tonkatsu restaurant for example". If it were a tonkatsu restaurant, I would definitely ask - no, let me re-word that - I would definitely order "gohan sukuname de" (smaller portion of rice please).

Of course, there are things that are just not possible to make smaller portions of, because of the way it is prepared. But things like plain rice, soup, or stew, which are served from a big pot for everybody, are very easy to make smaller (sukuname) or even bigger (oomori) portions of.

But like I wrote before, just rub your stomach and gesture "smaller" with your hands. Or if you're making a reservation, let a concierge explain your needs. And if you insist on using phrases, you can simply say, "Sukuname dekimasuka?" (Could you make a smaller portion?) and the waiter would say yes or no or suggest an alternative. At least, that's what I always get.

However, if it's not on the menu, they most likely wouldn't be able to deduct the price. So if you don't understand what they're saying, you can say, "Nedan onaji de OK desu." (It's OK if the price is the same.)

My family and I always eat out and share our food with each other. I don't think this is something you should overthink about. Wasting food is actually more rude than sharing :D