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If you look at Amami Oshima on Google Maps and search for hotels, you will find so many hotels on the map. I myself have been to Amami Oshima over 30 years ago, but my stay was on a boat, so I have no knowledge about hotels. However, as far as I can tell most of the hotels seem to be small hotels opened within recent 10 years, so I have no idea about them anyway.
Hotels are scattered in almost every part of Amami Oshima. Most of the hotels in Nase are for people visiting Amami Oshima on business, and they seem to be relatively large, old, and not very distinctive. The hotels near the beach are for tourists, are smaller in size, and range from cheap to expensive. Koniya and Kakaroma Island on the other side of the island are nice places.
As to where is better, it depends on your preference. If everyone liked one particular place, the rest of the hotels would have disappeared, but the fact is this is not the case, suggesting that different people have different tastes.
I think most of the hotels on the beach are bed and breakfasts or a kind of vacation rentals. You may go out to eat dinner or cook your own dinner. Of course, there are some that will serve you dinner.
When it comes to nightlife, I don't think there are any places where music plays until late at night like in many Southeast Asian resorts (Nase might have such a place). You will have to check by yourself if there is a bar nearby that is open until late at night.
Probably, few foreign tourists visit Amami Oshima, and Japanese tourists, who make up the majority of tourists, do not have much affinity for nightlife.
So, I would stay at a small, reputable (on google maps) hotel on the beach. It would be preferable if there were several places to eat dinner, preferably within walking distance. I don't drink myself, so there doesn't necessarily have to be a restaurant nearby. I can easily find a restaurant with a good reputation within a 10-minute drive.
If you have about a week, I would suggest staying on Kouniya or Kakaroma Island for three days. There are also some rental villa-type things on Kakaroma Island. They generally have a good reputation. However, it is not surprising that meals are not provided, and shopping does not seem to be available on the island. You have to buy something to eat at the supermarket in Koniya. Of course, I don't think there is any nightlife though there seems to be at least one restaurant which opens until 23:00.
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